How Do I Play?

I’m trusting that 99.4%of you already know how to play but for the .6% that have no clue what’s going on, this is how we roll: There are 64 teams* in the NCAA March Madness Basketball tournament.  You’ll get a bracket showing which teams are matched up and you pick one team to win each game until there’s only one team left. Pick ‘em however you want…online research, putting all your faith in gospel according to that maroon Jay Bilas, throwing darts, ranking them on how much they remind you of your ex, steroids or rituals involving dancing in front of your mirror like Jame Gumb.

*Despite what the NCAA is trying to force down your throats, we only recognize 64 teams in the Ruckus. If you’re one of those people who think that expanding March Madness to 96 teams is a good idea, please come see me so I can punch you in the mouth. Repeatedly.

Please note that we don't test for PED's here in the Ruckus. I don't care if you win because you drank hemoglobin from dead baby seals while illegally fighting panda bears and that you did this only for the “health benefits”. All I care about and all you need to know is that at the end of the day, you need to end up with one team. Honestly…it’s easier than ordering a large black coffee. Or finding Stu’s missing tooth. Or figuring out why there’s a chicken in your hotel room.

At the end of this site, there will be a link to sign up for the Ruckus. You’ll need to follow the rules set forth by Yahoo! Sports as they are the brackets of choice and if you don’t follow their rules, well, you’re pretty much hosed. The deadline to register and complete all your picks is this coming Thursday, March 18th at something like 11:00 AM Eastern. Don’t take my word for that as I wrote this while I was 34,000 feet in the air without internet access (thanks, American Airlines!) so I’m not 100% on that.

If you miss their deadline you have no one to blame but yourself. Know that I have exactly negative 0.000243% pull with the Yahoo! Sports people so there’s nothing I can do if you don’t get in.

I don’t care if you had a “mild” concussion and were locked in a fucking shed for three hours, I don’t care if you were busy testifying against Bernie Madoff for stealing your life’s fortune, I don’t care if your computer crashed because you caught a virus searching for Carrie Prejean videos, I don’t care if you were arguing with your girlfriend after she fucked a Carnival Cruise Lines bartender and I surely don’t  care if you just spent the afternoon in middle-earth with glee-glop and the floopty-doos, all right?

Follow the rules, get your picks in on time and you’ll be in there like swimwear.

Next Page >